I have always been overweight. As far back as I can remember I struggled with my weight. When I was in grade school I was husky, or so said my pants. When I was in middle school I was chunky, but when I was in high school I was just fat. I look back at my obesity and realize that any one of those places would have been a time to address my weight. Now I am morbidly obese and I am over thirty which means it doesn't come off like it used to. I haven't been on a scale in quite some time, but I would guess I am about 75 pounds overweight.
I have recently started watching my intake, but as in times past I am struggling. If you know me at all you will know I am a foodie. I love to cook and I love to eat. Dieting is very difficult for me because of all the goodness out there. The other issue as I see it is money. For someone to eat healthy and to do it inexpensively you need to do one of two things, compromise quantity or quality. Either way it sucks.
I am not trying to be 160 and strapping, but I would like to fit into my clothes again. While buttoning my shirt today I thought, "If I sneeze this button is going to take someone out." I hate being fat!
31 January, 2011
26 January, 2011
Elephant parmesan
Do you know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
I can't think of a better way to eat anything than covered in parmesan and mozzarella and slathered in marinara. Whereas the World Wildlife Federation might have a problem with my cuisine, it is purely metaphorical. Any big project needs to be taken a part and addressed one smaller piece at a time. This is where I am at, but I have a problem.
When I was younger...and dumber; I took a part my carburetor. Why? Just cuz. The problem was I had to put it back together when I was done. After running to the library to get a Chilton's manual, I was able to resurrect my car. Right now I have a large project that I am trying to take a part. I am worried that I won't know how to put it back together again.
Instead of letting this stop me I have decided that I will move forward. Here is hoping for the best.
I can't think of a better way to eat anything than covered in parmesan and mozzarella and slathered in marinara. Whereas the World Wildlife Federation might have a problem with my cuisine, it is purely metaphorical. Any big project needs to be taken a part and addressed one smaller piece at a time. This is where I am at, but I have a problem.
When I was younger...and dumber; I took a part my carburetor. Why? Just cuz. The problem was I had to put it back together when I was done. After running to the library to get a Chilton's manual, I was able to resurrect my car. Right now I have a large project that I am trying to take a part. I am worried that I won't know how to put it back together again.
Instead of letting this stop me I have decided that I will move forward. Here is hoping for the best.
25 January, 2011
Worm
Like a worm burrowing through loamy soil, an idea is making its way through my brain. A friend of mine has recently read my blog and is encouraging me to write a book. This idea has come about before and has been suggested by other people in my life. However, here is the problem; I don't finish anything. Seriously, my life is the collection of unfinished projects. With this in mind I read my pastor's tweet this afternoon. "Greatness is usually more about the tenacity to revisit unfinished projects than the vision to create new ones." So is this an unfinished project that was never properly started or would this be something new? Arghh!
I must ask you my readers, what do you think? You read my blog, would you read something longer? Is a book the great American pipe dream or should that not matter? HELP!!! If I am to write, what should I write about? My brain works like a shotgun and I could go on and on with no clear direction for hundreds of pages. My blog readers probably know me best from a writing stand point. What do you think?
I must ask you my readers, what do you think? You read my blog, would you read something longer? Is a book the great American pipe dream or should that not matter? HELP!!! If I am to write, what should I write about? My brain works like a shotgun and I could go on and on with no clear direction for hundreds of pages. My blog readers probably know me best from a writing stand point. What do you think?
24 January, 2011
The Gospel of gibberish
This is my writing assignment for school this week. I would love some feedback. And yes, it is a true story.
I was going to be the next Billy Graham. It was a warm August afternoon when I pulled the U-Haul into the seminary dorm parking lot. The culmination of calling and planning had led me to Chicago to become a minister. Years of lay ministry and being a youth pastor had prepared my soul for what lay before me, college. I was coming to be taught the Word of God and to learn what it meant to be a servant of the Lord most high. I was as scared as I was honored.
Having just barely gotten out of high school I was quite nervous about how I would do academically. I had a friend fail out of the same seminary that I was beginning, and he was truly gifted. Walking through the campus I was reminded of the history that graced these halls. Brilliant men and women of God who had studied and trained to become the heroes of the faith I had known and heard about. If I was going to leave my mark in history I would need to study hard and dedicate my whole being. “And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.”
The newness of college wore off as I began attending classes. Orientations and syllabi made the unknown become familiar and the reassuring words of teachers helped put my mind at ease. I was going to be fine. Classes were more advanced than what I remembered of high school, but then again I hadn’t really paid attention back then. The reading assignments were interesting and the classroom discussion was exactly what I needed. I was finding my place and I was confident that I would become a great orator.
Every morning began with humility and submission. First, before anything happened in the day, we had details. A time of cleaning and maintenance that sustained the college and our souls. We all loathed details. Smelling of lemon Pledge and Windex I would return to my dorm to get ready for the day. Before we would take to class we had chapel. A time every morning that the student body and teaching staff were equals before God. In the beginning of the year the staff and upper class set the pace for what these services would consist of and what they would look like.
By February the freshmen knew everything and couldn’t be told otherwise. It was right about that time that we were given the reigns of morning service and it was our time to shine. The first person from my class was brilliant and well spoken. He stood a head above most of us both physically and spiritually. The twenty minute service flew by as he waxed eloquently. From welcome to amen he set the standard by which we all felt we needed to achieve. From that point on my friends would make valiant attempts at their services but none would leave a lasting impression.
I had about six weeks notice before it was my turn to step up to the pulpit. The scripture was given to me and my mission was clear. I put off most of the other assignments in my scholastic calendar to focus on my chance to impress my peers. Morning, noon and night I thought about my scripture and how it applied to the people. I would consider many different ways of delivering the message. This wasn’t just my chance to impress, but it was my first realization of who I was as a preacher. Was I going to be serious and stoic or would I be bold and dynamic? The one thing I knew was, I was going to be awesome.
The night before my “message that would change the world” I was cloistered away in the school library. I was consorting with the likes of John Wesley and Matthew Henry in an attempt to glean as much as I could before my presentation. After hours of studying, there was nothing more I could do to prepare. My sermon was written, my mind was alert and I only needed sleep. The next morning I woke up to go to details and perform my cleaning ritual. I left early to get ready and be the first to chapel. After all, on this morning, I was the pastor and this was my church. I needed to welcome the staff and students and prepare their hearts for this momentous occasion.
After a song and the scripture reading I took the stage. From the moment I rose to my feet the world slowed down. Ascending the stairs that led to the pulpit I could hear my heart beating. I set my papers down and rested my hands on the sides of the pulpit. The wood was rough from nervous students before me grabbing in sweaty desperation. I peered out as I took a deep breath. They were all waiting for me to speak the words that would change the world. I opened my mouth and said, “Ticen arere wime of pers pant ederedvee co?”
With a confident smile on my face I looked at the congregation to absorb their awe at my genius. Instead what I saw was a sea of perplexed looks and hidden smirks. It was then that I realized I hadn’t said anything coherent. Gibberish! My heart was now beating so hard the microphone could pick it up. My vision tunneled and I was about to lose consciousness. It was under this extreme pressure and duress that I had my most brilliant idea to date. I needed to be myself.
“Well” I said with a sigh. “I am not sure what just happened, but I think this message will sound better in English” said with a sheepish grin. My classmates chuckled loudly and the staff even joined in for a second. It was just what my sermon needed, levity. I had concentrated so heavily on being one of the greats that I forgot to be Chris. I delivered the rest of my message; which I don’t remember, but was probably average at best. I stepped down from the platform and a final song was sung. My blood pressure returned to normal and my body went limp. I had given everything I had up there and it wasn’t even close to good. However, I learned a great lesson that day that I would carry throughout my seminary years and my career as a pastor. I wasn’t going to be the next Billy Graham. I was going to be the next Chris DiMaso, precisely who God needed me to be.
I was going to be the next Billy Graham. It was a warm August afternoon when I pulled the U-Haul into the seminary dorm parking lot. The culmination of calling and planning had led me to Chicago to become a minister. Years of lay ministry and being a youth pastor had prepared my soul for what lay before me, college. I was coming to be taught the Word of God and to learn what it meant to be a servant of the Lord most high. I was as scared as I was honored.
Having just barely gotten out of high school I was quite nervous about how I would do academically. I had a friend fail out of the same seminary that I was beginning, and he was truly gifted. Walking through the campus I was reminded of the history that graced these halls. Brilliant men and women of God who had studied and trained to become the heroes of the faith I had known and heard about. If I was going to leave my mark in history I would need to study hard and dedicate my whole being. “And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.”
The newness of college wore off as I began attending classes. Orientations and syllabi made the unknown become familiar and the reassuring words of teachers helped put my mind at ease. I was going to be fine. Classes were more advanced than what I remembered of high school, but then again I hadn’t really paid attention back then. The reading assignments were interesting and the classroom discussion was exactly what I needed. I was finding my place and I was confident that I would become a great orator.
Every morning began with humility and submission. First, before anything happened in the day, we had details. A time of cleaning and maintenance that sustained the college and our souls. We all loathed details. Smelling of lemon Pledge and Windex I would return to my dorm to get ready for the day. Before we would take to class we had chapel. A time every morning that the student body and teaching staff were equals before God. In the beginning of the year the staff and upper class set the pace for what these services would consist of and what they would look like.
By February the freshmen knew everything and couldn’t be told otherwise. It was right about that time that we were given the reigns of morning service and it was our time to shine. The first person from my class was brilliant and well spoken. He stood a head above most of us both physically and spiritually. The twenty minute service flew by as he waxed eloquently. From welcome to amen he set the standard by which we all felt we needed to achieve. From that point on my friends would make valiant attempts at their services but none would leave a lasting impression.
I had about six weeks notice before it was my turn to step up to the pulpit. The scripture was given to me and my mission was clear. I put off most of the other assignments in my scholastic calendar to focus on my chance to impress my peers. Morning, noon and night I thought about my scripture and how it applied to the people. I would consider many different ways of delivering the message. This wasn’t just my chance to impress, but it was my first realization of who I was as a preacher. Was I going to be serious and stoic or would I be bold and dynamic? The one thing I knew was, I was going to be awesome.
The night before my “message that would change the world” I was cloistered away in the school library. I was consorting with the likes of John Wesley and Matthew Henry in an attempt to glean as much as I could before my presentation. After hours of studying, there was nothing more I could do to prepare. My sermon was written, my mind was alert and I only needed sleep. The next morning I woke up to go to details and perform my cleaning ritual. I left early to get ready and be the first to chapel. After all, on this morning, I was the pastor and this was my church. I needed to welcome the staff and students and prepare their hearts for this momentous occasion.
After a song and the scripture reading I took the stage. From the moment I rose to my feet the world slowed down. Ascending the stairs that led to the pulpit I could hear my heart beating. I set my papers down and rested my hands on the sides of the pulpit. The wood was rough from nervous students before me grabbing in sweaty desperation. I peered out as I took a deep breath. They were all waiting for me to speak the words that would change the world. I opened my mouth and said, “Ticen arere wime of pers pant ederedvee co?”
With a confident smile on my face I looked at the congregation to absorb their awe at my genius. Instead what I saw was a sea of perplexed looks and hidden smirks. It was then that I realized I hadn’t said anything coherent. Gibberish! My heart was now beating so hard the microphone could pick it up. My vision tunneled and I was about to lose consciousness. It was under this extreme pressure and duress that I had my most brilliant idea to date. I needed to be myself.
“Well” I said with a sigh. “I am not sure what just happened, but I think this message will sound better in English” said with a sheepish grin. My classmates chuckled loudly and the staff even joined in for a second. It was just what my sermon needed, levity. I had concentrated so heavily on being one of the greats that I forgot to be Chris. I delivered the rest of my message; which I don’t remember, but was probably average at best. I stepped down from the platform and a final song was sung. My blood pressure returned to normal and my body went limp. I had given everything I had up there and it wasn’t even close to good. However, I learned a great lesson that day that I would carry throughout my seminary years and my career as a pastor. I wasn’t going to be the next Billy Graham. I was going to be the next Chris DiMaso, precisely who God needed me to be.
21 January, 2011
Killing babies
I have written before about my love to create and make things. Art, especially computer generated, is one of the things that brings me closer to God. However, there is something that makes me sad about this expression. I don't just make for the sake of making. I like to create for people and have them use or appreciate what I have made. Sometimes when I make something it is because I have been commissioned to do so and the person is going to use the item for their needs.
When I started at my current place of employment I was given the task of starting and maintaining a newsletter. This was awesome! I love newsletters because they are the best of both worlds, graphics and layout. I have twice now made the newsletter for my department and if I do say so myself...stunning. But I found out just minutes ago that it will be scrapped next issue in favor of a template designed by an advertising agency that complies to the graphic standards of the organization. They killed my baby.
It is not that I mind critique or input, but when someone says to me "Whatever you want to do is great" and then they nay say it, I am frustrated. If any of you told me you needed a graphic, I would love to make it for you. I would ask, "What are you looking for exactly?" Then I would make my interpretation of your request. If I didn't get it right I would try again. But when I get no input I think of the kindergarten mantra, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."
ARGH!!!!
When I started at my current place of employment I was given the task of starting and maintaining a newsletter. This was awesome! I love newsletters because they are the best of both worlds, graphics and layout. I have twice now made the newsletter for my department and if I do say so myself...stunning. But I found out just minutes ago that it will be scrapped next issue in favor of a template designed by an advertising agency that complies to the graphic standards of the organization. They killed my baby.
It is not that I mind critique or input, but when someone says to me "Whatever you want to do is great" and then they nay say it, I am frustrated. If any of you told me you needed a graphic, I would love to make it for you. I would ask, "What are you looking for exactly?" Then I would make my interpretation of your request. If I didn't get it right I would try again. But when I get no input I think of the kindergarten mantra, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."
ARGH!!!!
18 January, 2011
Deep breath
I have been working at my current place of employment for six months. I have seen crazy busy and I have seen insanely boring. I have created programs from scratch and had to argue to get the basic of volunteer recruiting to happen. It has been a wild ride and has left me perplexed at times.
I have had days that I felt like I was so valuable that I should get a raise or promotion. I have had days that I felt like I was going to be fired because I couldn't justify why I was even there. It has been quite the rollercoaster of emotion coming in everyday.
Last week I found out I was going to have a mid-year review. This scared the junk out of me because I didn't know we even had yearly reviews, let alone semi-annual ones. I went into my review to find that the organization still thinks well of me. Whew! I was really worried. I did get some suggestions on how to be more awesome, but overall it was positive.
Today I find myself feeling less shaken and more mentally fit while sitting at my desk. Things seem more stable and that is great. I don't know how long God will keep me here, but for right now I am content.
I have had days that I felt like I was so valuable that I should get a raise or promotion. I have had days that I felt like I was going to be fired because I couldn't justify why I was even there. It has been quite the rollercoaster of emotion coming in everyday.
Last week I found out I was going to have a mid-year review. This scared the junk out of me because I didn't know we even had yearly reviews, let alone semi-annual ones. I went into my review to find that the organization still thinks well of me. Whew! I was really worried. I did get some suggestions on how to be more awesome, but overall it was positive.
Today I find myself feeling less shaken and more mentally fit while sitting at my desk. Things seem more stable and that is great. I don't know how long God will keep me here, but for right now I am content.
14 January, 2011
Year in review of music
2010 might have been my worst personal year ever, but it was great musically. I was reminded yesterday of a comment I had made a week or two ago and I think I need to revisit my statement. I had said that The Black Keys were the best band of 2010. Since I don't listen to entire albums, but tend to focus on songs; it doesn't seem right to declare a winner in the battle of the bands. However, I am quite comfortable it giving you my choices for 2010 best songs. I hope you enjoy.
10. Silversun Pickups- The Royal We
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPzU1Uz8ujw
9. Snow Patrol- Just Say Yes*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW1hv37imjw&ob=av2el
8. Broken Bells- The High Road*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mkr19RSG6k
7. Muse- Resistance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPE9uSFFxrI
6. Mumford & Sons- Little Lion Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLJf9qJHR3E
5. Florence + The Machine- Dog Days Are Over
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWOyfLBYtuU&ob=av2em
4. The Black Keys- Howlin For You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpxbWoDhVxw
3. Phoenix- Lisztomania
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEaEU_R_XFI&feature=related
2. The Black Keys- Tighten Up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNXwicxlsvI
1. Mumford & Sons- The Cave
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KkUeRPjc-Y
*Song was released in late 2009, but didn't gain notoriety until 2010.
10. Silversun Pickups- The Royal We
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPzU1Uz8ujw
9. Snow Patrol- Just Say Yes*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW1hv37imjw&ob=av2el
8. Broken Bells- The High Road*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mkr19RSG6k
7. Muse- Resistance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPE9uSFFxrI
6. Mumford & Sons- Little Lion Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLJf9qJHR3E
5. Florence + The Machine- Dog Days Are Over
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWOyfLBYtuU&ob=av2em
4. The Black Keys- Howlin For You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpxbWoDhVxw
3. Phoenix- Lisztomania
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEaEU_R_XFI&feature=related
2. The Black Keys- Tighten Up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNXwicxlsvI
1. Mumford & Sons- The Cave
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KkUeRPjc-Y
*Song was released in late 2009, but didn't gain notoriety until 2010.
13 January, 2011
Lyrical life
I have shared before my love for lyrics. But there is a song that has been resonating in my heart for a few weeks now and it has to do with something very special to me. The band Mumford & Sons are from England and are a part of a folk revival that is taking place in alternative rock. They have a raw, gritty sound that relies heavily on stringed instruments. The lead singer is son to the leaders of the Vineyard Church of England. The band, while not a "Christian" group, are believers and it is evident in their music.
They have a song called "The Cave" that is gaining air time right now. This song speaks very clearly of someone's struggle emotionally and spiritually. When I hear this song I see where I have been and I hold on hope to where I will be. This song speaks to me about my calling. If you know me, you know I don't believe in coincidence. I was to write about this yesterday, but got busy and never did. My friend Melissa then wrote about those who are no longer living in their calling and how it is affecting them. So today I will compose my thoughts about this subject and specifically about how the song has spoken to me.
The whole song is wonderful and speaks largely to me, but for the sake of sharing I will limit my thoughts to one passage in particular. "And I'll find strength in pain, And I will change my ways; I'll know my name as it's called again." Through my entire process one thing has remained a constant. The pain I have had to endure has led me to where I needed to be at the right moment. The pain of leaving my family gave me the strength to correct my mistake. The pain of being a part from God drove me back into His loving arms. The pain of waiting has developed my dependence on Him. I have found strength in my pain and it has caused me to change my ways.
The part that I sing as a hallelujah is "I'll know my name as it's called again." I love this idea that I have forgotten my name. There is a name that God calls me and to which only I respond. It is the way He speaks to my heart and placed the call on my life. I have forgotten that name, but I will know it when He calls it again. I don't know how long I am meant to remain in this waiting place, but I know that it is intentional. I know that everyday I remain faithful and obedient, He is preparing good work for me to accomplish. I rejoice in my uncertainty because I trust the one who is certain.
Please pray for my perseverance and faithfulness. I know God always completes the work He has begun and He will call my name again. Lastly, follow the link below and enjoy the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REo7VnlenOA
"The Cave" -Mumford & Sons
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
They have a song called "The Cave" that is gaining air time right now. This song speaks very clearly of someone's struggle emotionally and spiritually. When I hear this song I see where I have been and I hold on hope to where I will be. This song speaks to me about my calling. If you know me, you know I don't believe in coincidence. I was to write about this yesterday, but got busy and never did. My friend Melissa then wrote about those who are no longer living in their calling and how it is affecting them. So today I will compose my thoughts about this subject and specifically about how the song has spoken to me.
The whole song is wonderful and speaks largely to me, but for the sake of sharing I will limit my thoughts to one passage in particular. "And I'll find strength in pain, And I will change my ways; I'll know my name as it's called again." Through my entire process one thing has remained a constant. The pain I have had to endure has led me to where I needed to be at the right moment. The pain of leaving my family gave me the strength to correct my mistake. The pain of being a part from God drove me back into His loving arms. The pain of waiting has developed my dependence on Him. I have found strength in my pain and it has caused me to change my ways.
The part that I sing as a hallelujah is "I'll know my name as it's called again." I love this idea that I have forgotten my name. There is a name that God calls me and to which only I respond. It is the way He speaks to my heart and placed the call on my life. I have forgotten that name, but I will know it when He calls it again. I don't know how long I am meant to remain in this waiting place, but I know that it is intentional. I know that everyday I remain faithful and obedient, He is preparing good work for me to accomplish. I rejoice in my uncertainty because I trust the one who is certain.
Please pray for my perseverance and faithfulness. I know God always completes the work He has begun and He will call my name again. Lastly, follow the link below and enjoy the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REo7VnlenOA
"The Cave" -Mumford & Sons
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
11 January, 2011
Snow days
I am sitting in my office talking to a volunteer about the good old days. It is funny to reminisce about yesteryear because I am, in the grand scheme of things, not that old. Although some days I feel like it. But it really is interesting to think of the changes I have seen in my life.
When I was in elementary school we didn't have constant access to weather reporting. Many times I would go to bed without any idea of the possibility of an impending snow day. I would wake up to find 6 inches of snow and would run to the TV where I would watch one of the six channels we got. I would intensely watch the school closings waiting to see my district. When I would find my school I would cheer, get dressed and be at my friend Craig's house by 8am.
Sunday night Sarah's house was like the National Weather Service. Computers running figures, kids checking the barometer and satellite imagery of the system moving in to KC. Before heads hit the pillow they knew they were home for the day on Monday. Waking up to inches of snow on the ground, my kids were so excited they...did nothing. One got on the computer, while one put on a movie. After hours of sitting around I got them outside to help me shovel. Following that they did...nothing. Several times asking me what they should do. I am at a loss for words; are kids still kids?
Do you remember when the TV used to go off the air? I do. I remember at midnight or so, the TV would show a flag flying and they would say, "This concludes our broadcast day." Then static would fill the room. Now I can listen to someone drone on for infinity on 182 stations. Ruby brought me her clenched hand and said, "I have a quarter." She opened it to reveal a penny. I said, "Oh sweetie, that is just a penny." To which she replied, "What can I buy with it?" Disheartened I said, "Nothing." Do you remember when pennies were worth something?
I know that nostalgia is always prettier than the reality that was lived, but it still makes me think if I have lost something. Think about today. In 20 years someone will think back to today and remember how much better it was then. I guess the question is, should I try to replace what I have lost or should I try to hold onto what I have now? Or maybe, just maybe its neither and I should just go with the flow. Whatever the answer, I wish I could leave work and go sledding.
Thanks to all that encouraged me yesterday. :)
When I was in elementary school we didn't have constant access to weather reporting. Many times I would go to bed without any idea of the possibility of an impending snow day. I would wake up to find 6 inches of snow and would run to the TV where I would watch one of the six channels we got. I would intensely watch the school closings waiting to see my district. When I would find my school I would cheer, get dressed and be at my friend Craig's house by 8am.
Sunday night Sarah's house was like the National Weather Service. Computers running figures, kids checking the barometer and satellite imagery of the system moving in to KC. Before heads hit the pillow they knew they were home for the day on Monday. Waking up to inches of snow on the ground, my kids were so excited they...did nothing. One got on the computer, while one put on a movie. After hours of sitting around I got them outside to help me shovel. Following that they did...nothing. Several times asking me what they should do. I am at a loss for words; are kids still kids?
Do you remember when the TV used to go off the air? I do. I remember at midnight or so, the TV would show a flag flying and they would say, "This concludes our broadcast day." Then static would fill the room. Now I can listen to someone drone on for infinity on 182 stations. Ruby brought me her clenched hand and said, "I have a quarter." She opened it to reveal a penny. I said, "Oh sweetie, that is just a penny." To which she replied, "What can I buy with it?" Disheartened I said, "Nothing." Do you remember when pennies were worth something?
I know that nostalgia is always prettier than the reality that was lived, but it still makes me think if I have lost something. Think about today. In 20 years someone will think back to today and remember how much better it was then. I guess the question is, should I try to replace what I have lost or should I try to hold onto what I have now? Or maybe, just maybe its neither and I should just go with the flow. Whatever the answer, I wish I could leave work and go sledding.
Thanks to all that encouraged me yesterday. :)
10 January, 2011
Tell tale heart
Like the beat coming from underneath the floor board, my blog calls to me. Giving away my guilty need to share myself. But recently I have found that I open a new post, stare at the screen for several minutes and then I close the tab without writing one word. The discouragement from writing without knowing if anyone is reading stops me in my tracks. I want to write, but my selfish need to be heard is the pinnacle of hierarchical prominence.
Recently a friend told me he reads every posting. That was very encouraging, but I still find myself discouraged about writing. Friends, I am asking a favor from you. Would you please leave me a comment after you read this? It doesn't have to be profound or encouraging. If you would just say "hi" or "here" to let me know you have read this, it would mean the world to me. Thanks.
Recently a friend told me he reads every posting. That was very encouraging, but I still find myself discouraged about writing. Friends, I am asking a favor from you. Would you please leave me a comment after you read this? It doesn't have to be profound or encouraging. If you would just say "hi" or "here" to let me know you have read this, it would mean the world to me. Thanks.
07 January, 2011
Sacred secular
I know it is popular in Christianity today to define life into either the secular or the sacred. Polarizing is the easiest way to stir the hearts of followers. After all, we want to know that what we are doing is the absolute purest form of (fill in the blank). However, true zeal is more than just getting amped behind a cause. If we are to truly usher in the Kingdom we need to let God be God. Every time a Christian puts a new requirement on another or worse yet on an unbeliever, we have hindered our cause.
I have often considered that I should write a book on the subject of the "sacred secular". But then I remember, I don't need one more failed project sitting in my forever to-do list. When I was preaching every week this idea was at the heart of my messages. It was my goal to show the extra in the ordinary. I would take the common, everyday things of this world and turn them toward God. Whether it was Star Wars, Metallica, shoe shining or breakfast I would bring the Word of God to the scenario.
I know that the very thought of using the profane to accentuate the incorruptible is disgraceful to some, but I feel that God has gifted me to do this for His glory. This world isn't able to sit and listen to the three hour sermons of John Wesley any longer. Thanks to our lifestyle and technology we need information fast and applicable with all the razzle dazzle of a circus.
Some preachers, like mine, can expound on Scripture without being showy and have you hang on every word. Some preach with the motto, "I studied for this and you are going to pay." I wasn't either of those, but what I was able to do is share the Gospel in a fresh way. Perhaps I relied a little heavily on it and should have expanded my skills, but it was hard to argue with results.
Look around you today and realize, "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him." Colossians 1:16
I have often considered that I should write a book on the subject of the "sacred secular". But then I remember, I don't need one more failed project sitting in my forever to-do list. When I was preaching every week this idea was at the heart of my messages. It was my goal to show the extra in the ordinary. I would take the common, everyday things of this world and turn them toward God. Whether it was Star Wars, Metallica, shoe shining or breakfast I would bring the Word of God to the scenario.
I know that the very thought of using the profane to accentuate the incorruptible is disgraceful to some, but I feel that God has gifted me to do this for His glory. This world isn't able to sit and listen to the three hour sermons of John Wesley any longer. Thanks to our lifestyle and technology we need information fast and applicable with all the razzle dazzle of a circus.
Some preachers, like mine, can expound on Scripture without being showy and have you hang on every word. Some preach with the motto, "I studied for this and you are going to pay." I wasn't either of those, but what I was able to do is share the Gospel in a fresh way. Perhaps I relied a little heavily on it and should have expanded my skills, but it was hard to argue with results.
Look around you today and realize, "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him." Colossians 1:16
06 January, 2011
Doppelganger Dave
For the last few months my pastor has been doing a thorough character study on David the king of Israel. Prior to the study I wasn't a fan of David. After all he was a bad man and everyone knew it too. However, through this study I have learned why I don't like him; he and I are so much a like. I know it is common to associate with a figure from the Bible and there are many who have compared themselves to David, but I am amazed I have now.
The similarities are pretty obvious I think. The leader of a people becomes adulterous and has a public fall from grace. But it isn't the mistakes that I think are truly note worthy, but the way we both face recovery. I heard this last night for the first time and I loved it immediately. In 2 Sam 16 David is being pelted with rocks from a man in the crowd. David's security wants to kill the man but David stops him and says, maybe I deserve to be pelted with rocks. It is this type of realization of my mistakes and inherent worth that I find so similar with David. I know that I don't deserve anything I have ever had in this world and that any glory was only because of the one who gave it to me. So, if the Lord so chooses then I will let them throw rocks at me.
Here is my hope: David was a man after God's own heart. So too, I hope to be that man. There have and will be consequences to my sin, but I can still rejoice. Today I know the Lord better than I ever have in the past. I now walk in a trust that I have never experienced before. I have been broken and rebuilt. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but like David I hold onto this; "It may be that the LORD will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today.” 2 Sam 16:12
The similarities are pretty obvious I think. The leader of a people becomes adulterous and has a public fall from grace. But it isn't the mistakes that I think are truly note worthy, but the way we both face recovery. I heard this last night for the first time and I loved it immediately. In 2 Sam 16 David is being pelted with rocks from a man in the crowd. David's security wants to kill the man but David stops him and says, maybe I deserve to be pelted with rocks. It is this type of realization of my mistakes and inherent worth that I find so similar with David. I know that I don't deserve anything I have ever had in this world and that any glory was only because of the one who gave it to me. So, if the Lord so chooses then I will let them throw rocks at me.
Here is my hope: David was a man after God's own heart. So too, I hope to be that man. There have and will be consequences to my sin, but I can still rejoice. Today I know the Lord better than I ever have in the past. I now walk in a trust that I have never experienced before. I have been broken and rebuilt. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but like David I hold onto this; "It may be that the LORD will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today.” 2 Sam 16:12
04 January, 2011
Young love
It is hard to believe, but fourteen years ago I got married. I was so young and clueless. The one thing I knew and was right about was marrying Sarah. I want to tell you about that day fourteen years ago.
Leading up to our January 4th wedding date, Sarah and I had lived 400 miles apart. She had moved with her parents to Chicago in August and I lived in Minneapolis. She moved up the week prior to the wedding which was good because we didn't have much ready for the big day. I don't remember much of the details of that week, but I remember everything was red and white. It was beautiful.
Sarah had friends and family come in from all over the Midwest. I had my immediate family and my aunt and uncle, the rest of my family didn't come. The day of the wedding a blizzard hit Minnesota and shut down highways and completely closed off North Dakota. We arrived at the church a couple of hours before the wedding and began to get ready. We tried to observe the ritual of not seeing each other before the ceremony, but we had stuff to take care of and weren't completely able.
When it was time, I stood at the front of the chapel with my two groomsmen. I remember when Sarah came in, she was so beautiful. She was also so young and the wedding dress only served to accentuate her youth. I felt like a kid playing house, and I was. Sarah and I were both teenagers, she had just turned 18 four months ago. The only thing I remember from being on the platform was standing before her dad as he was conducting the ceremony and I locked my knees. The blood rushed out of my head and I swooned. I whispered to Sarah, "I think I am going to pass out." To which she lovingly said, "If you do I will kill you." The next thing I knew I was kissing the bride.
We had a very small reception and cake cutting at the church. After that we went to a local restaurant and had a family reception. Two things were memorable about this part to me. First, my uncle was upset that it was a cash bar. And secondly, the stuffed mushrooms were awesome! Following this get-together we left for our honeymoon. Which for teenagers with a child was one night in a fancy hotel. It was great though!
Our wedding was about as ghetto hoopty as you could imagine, but it was ours. It wasn't about fairy tales or princesses, it was about our love and the beginning of our life together. Whereas time has washed away the vividness of the day, it has only served to enhance the love that I feel for Sarah. I love you baby and I always will.
Leading up to our January 4th wedding date, Sarah and I had lived 400 miles apart. She had moved with her parents to Chicago in August and I lived in Minneapolis. She moved up the week prior to the wedding which was good because we didn't have much ready for the big day. I don't remember much of the details of that week, but I remember everything was red and white. It was beautiful.
Sarah had friends and family come in from all over the Midwest. I had my immediate family and my aunt and uncle, the rest of my family didn't come. The day of the wedding a blizzard hit Minnesota and shut down highways and completely closed off North Dakota. We arrived at the church a couple of hours before the wedding and began to get ready. We tried to observe the ritual of not seeing each other before the ceremony, but we had stuff to take care of and weren't completely able.
When it was time, I stood at the front of the chapel with my two groomsmen. I remember when Sarah came in, she was so beautiful. She was also so young and the wedding dress only served to accentuate her youth. I felt like a kid playing house, and I was. Sarah and I were both teenagers, she had just turned 18 four months ago. The only thing I remember from being on the platform was standing before her dad as he was conducting the ceremony and I locked my knees. The blood rushed out of my head and I swooned. I whispered to Sarah, "I think I am going to pass out." To which she lovingly said, "If you do I will kill you." The next thing I knew I was kissing the bride.
We had a very small reception and cake cutting at the church. After that we went to a local restaurant and had a family reception. Two things were memorable about this part to me. First, my uncle was upset that it was a cash bar. And secondly, the stuffed mushrooms were awesome! Following this get-together we left for our honeymoon. Which for teenagers with a child was one night in a fancy hotel. It was great though!
Our wedding was about as ghetto hoopty as you could imagine, but it was ours. It wasn't about fairy tales or princesses, it was about our love and the beginning of our life together. Whereas time has washed away the vividness of the day, it has only served to enhance the love that I feel for Sarah. I love you baby and I always will.
03 January, 2011
Maybe in metric
I am not an imposing figure. Well, perhaps to the manager of an all you can eat buffet I am, but not when it comes to height. Like most shorter people I use to resort to exaggeration and fractions to make my stature seem more grand. But the truth is I am 5'7". That's it, just 67 inches (170 centimeters). Currently the average height for an American male is 5'10", that makes me short. Even though there are days where I feel like the terrier barking at the Great Dane, most of the time I could care less. It once bothered me, but not any longer.
There have been people in my life that have helped me with this paradigm shift. Beckie Stearns stands about 4'11" on a good day, but believes she is 6'3" and made of solid muscle. I have seen her poke a huge man in the chest and yell at his belly button. Having seen her take charge, I realized that height is merely a physical measurement. It makes me think of the difference between Saul and David. Saul was described as the perfect physical specimen, while David was a young shepherd boy. But God was clear, it was never the physical that mattered.
"The measure of a man." It is one of those phrases that makes me think. Strangely enough, I usually get a visual image of such a man. He is not short, nor fat. I think this is a carnal reaction of my mind to try and grasp what I can understand. However, I need to shed this idea and move toward seeing like God does. This Sunday my pastor spoke about the attributes of the Christian. He said, virtue was the strength and power that flowed from us. In the Greek, it is the word that described the healing power that flowed from Jesus into the woman with the issue of blood in Luke 8. I want to be that man of virtue. I want my life to bring hope and healing to everyone it touches. A life like that isn't built over night and perhaps isn't even realized within one's life time, but it is still my goal. Every decision and every thought needs to be subject to Christ.
I hope my e-life is a blessing to you this year. Thanks for reading.
There have been people in my life that have helped me with this paradigm shift. Beckie Stearns stands about 4'11" on a good day, but believes she is 6'3" and made of solid muscle. I have seen her poke a huge man in the chest and yell at his belly button. Having seen her take charge, I realized that height is merely a physical measurement. It makes me think of the difference between Saul and David. Saul was described as the perfect physical specimen, while David was a young shepherd boy. But God was clear, it was never the physical that mattered.
"The measure of a man." It is one of those phrases that makes me think. Strangely enough, I usually get a visual image of such a man. He is not short, nor fat. I think this is a carnal reaction of my mind to try and grasp what I can understand. However, I need to shed this idea and move toward seeing like God does. This Sunday my pastor spoke about the attributes of the Christian. He said, virtue was the strength and power that flowed from us. In the Greek, it is the word that described the healing power that flowed from Jesus into the woman with the issue of blood in Luke 8. I want to be that man of virtue. I want my life to bring hope and healing to everyone it touches. A life like that isn't built over night and perhaps isn't even realized within one's life time, but it is still my goal. Every decision and every thought needs to be subject to Christ.
I hope my e-life is a blessing to you this year. Thanks for reading.
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