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"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be Chris,” and there was Chris. God saw that the Chris was good..."

Well maybe it didn't happen exactly like that; but the truth is, like everything else in this world, I had a beginning. I was born to Curt and Carol DiMaso on April 5, 1977. My parents turned 30 the year I was born. I don't know much about my first year, but I have been told I was the most beautiful baby ever. It is hard to argue with such logic. I would be given a sister, Lacey, two years later. We were a suburban, Catholic family.

My earliest memories are of being with my family and going places with my mom. She was very dedicated to my early development. When I entered kindergarten I could already read and could count over 100. I spent my first few years in Catholic school and I was even taught by nuns. Third grade was a tough year for me. I left the parochial nest and also moved twice. Having three third grades and moving in and out of curriculum caused me to fall through the cracks. Where I once was a stellar student, I now felt that no one cared. For the rest of my school career I would feel alone and confused about my education.

Throughout my formative period I was taken to church, went through Catholicism and received my first communion. In the fourth grade I was able to become an altar boy and I was so proud. Many times I was the only person in my family that would attend church. I knew from an early age that serving God was what I was made to do, I just didn't know where it would take me.

NIB

Collectors of just about every kind of product know what NIB means. NIB are three little words that change a knickknack from interesting novelty to valuable collectible. I of course speak of New In Box. It is the status of something that means it has been preserved in it's original packaging and hasn't been handled. Something can be fifty or sixty years old and look like it was just placed on the Woolworth's shelf for sale.

I think I am one of these antiques that is new in box. I would consider myself an old soul, a lover of a time forgot. That isn't to say that I don't like anything about our modern era. I am not going to go without my cell phone, computer or TV. However, there is something so appealing about a Rockwell type evening with a fireplace and the radio playing music. Children playing on the floor while I read the evening paper. The smell of dinner in the air and the wife is setting the table in a house dress. I know it is cliché or even stereotypically melancholy, but I think it is delightful.

That got me thinking. Do you know who I am? I know some of you know me better than I know myself. But my guess is that many of you read my blog and try to figure out who I am by the topic of the day. This isn't a very good way to get to know someone as it is reflective only of the flavor of the day. I think my next few entries will concentrate on the essentials of Chris.

P.S.- I hope you like the design change on my blog. I thought it was time for a change.

Empty seats

There is nothing in this world that I enjoy like a Sunday morning full of Spirit led, Christ centered worship. When it comes to bringing this world into the throne room, no one does it like my church. I look forward to that time every week and go to sleep Saturday night with a joyful anticipation for the morning ahead. There have been Sundays where I have walked in to find a guest preacher or a different worship leader and thought, "Oh man, I have been waiting for this and now it won't be the same." And my initial thought has been right every time, it wasn't the same. However it was exactly what God had for me and I was blessed beyond measure.

There is one thing that makes my Sunday morning less than perfect. More often than not, I sit alone. Five rows from the front on the left side is where you can find me any given Sunday. I am there at least 10 min early in order to prepare my tithe and say hi to some folks. But when 9 O'clock hits I am sitting waiting for the worship team to take the stage and I am...alone. During worship I am in a transcendent state, arms raised in submission and heart humbled, but I am alone. During the sermon I listen intently to the word of God that is always presented in an intelligent and well thought out manner, but I am alone. During the altar call I am often found in a moment of commitment and dedication, but I am alone. And just as I entered, worshipped, learned and responded, I leave...alone.

I don't tell you this to sell a tale of woe or to make myself seem like a martyr. I tell you this because I want to tell you what it means to me when my family visits. You see it wouldn't be worth much if I liked being alone in worship, but as it is I don't. My family shows up at my church and I greet them in the back parking lot. We wind our way to the lobby and get the kids hot chocolate. Following the refreshments we take the boys to children's church and then Ruby to her classroom. Sarah, Dayton and I go into the sanctuary and prepare for worship. Now I enter, worship, learn and respond just as before, but now I am with those I love. This little difference is the difference between a great Sunday of worship and an excellent Sunday of worship.

Smooth like butter

I love crooner style music. The mellow melodies and heart-felt lyrics appeal to a deep part of my soul. I am listening to Michael Buble & Harry Connick Jr. right now and thinking about how much I would like a blanket and a good cup of coffee. I could curl up on the couch and just sit for hours and chat with a good friend. I think that people have given up to easily on the finer, slower things of life. I just am not interested in hustle and bustle, there is no intrinsic value to such a lifestyle.

Even the act of going out on the town has been replaced with jam packed malls and one day only sales of madness. What have happened to promenades and plazas adorned with gentlemen looking dapper and ladies on their arms? An evening filled with dinner and dancing has been replaced with a movie and Applebee's. It is the echo of civilization, but it lacks the vivid expression of life. I long for the day that I can personally resurrect this lost culture of yesteryear.

Killing me softly

I hate my asthma! I am sitting here struggling to breathe and it sucks. I don't know what it is, but something causes my air way to constrict and my breathing to become labored. It used to scare me when I would struggle to breathe. I went to the ER shortly after moving to St. Louis as a teenager, because the air quality was so poor. Coupled with the humidity, StL was a death trap.

I am considerably older now and I am less scared of my asthma. This is usually where I would have a point and transition from my illustration, but I am too weak from a lack of air. Goodnight!

W/e ikr

Most of the time I despise popular culture, at least as it pertains to 14 year old girls. I am an avid texter and as such have adapted slightly to the texting culture. That is to say I use some of the nomenclature of the electronic age. However there are some things I just won't say. I don't do ROFL. Every time I see this I pronounce it out. Roffle. It makes me chuckle. I also am not a fan of LMAO. Perhaps it is my prevailing lack of A that inhibits my use or just that I am saving the term for something truly funny. Come what may, I will never refer to someone as my bff. I don't care how close we are, it is just insipid.

That is not to say that I don't have best friends or even very close friends. I have been thinking a lot about the people that mean something to me and why. That got me thinking of you. Yes, you! The reader of my blog. You mean a great deal to me. One of the things that I value highly is being understood and you are trying to understand me. That is awesome!!! (Yes, I triple exclamation point) Whether you just started reading today or you have walked this long and winding road for a while, thank you. I value your reading and also your comments. My friend I hope you have a blessed holiday.

Five

This week on SNL there was a bit where Kristen Wiig's character tries to one up everyone. She always has to be better or do more than others. A woman shared that this holiday she was "thankful for..." She was promptly interrupted by this character, to which she said "Well, this holiday I am thankful five." Five being one more than four (for). This got me thinking about how thankful I am, and yes I might be just a little more than you. Before Thanksgiving comes and I am so busy cooking and getting so high on Tryptophan that I can't move, I wanted to share with you my "list".

I am thankful for a family that desires reconciliation. I have done many bad things in my life and I have paid many different prices for my sin, but never have I felt anguish like losing my family. I have been out of their daily lives now for over a year. Living elsewhere and most of that time very far away. But now I am within 15 min and see them 4-5 times a week. I have been re-accepted as a part of the family and even given respect as daddy. Everyday that passes our family gets closer and the love grows deeper. This Thanksgiving I am thankful five my family.

I am thankful for a church that values restoration. This year I became homeless and for the first time in my life was completely alone. In the midst of my fear and desperation, they were the hands and feet of Jesus. One of the elders told me, "We don't care what you've done, we care about who you're to be." Grace has been amazing at Englewood. Without them I may not be writing this today. This Thanksgiving I am thankful five my church.

I am thankful for a God who loves a repentant heart. In the past year I have sought God many times. Sometimes half-hearted, sometimes with all my might. I have given lip service and been broken. Even with this on again off again relationship, when I came with all sincerity and humbled myself He forgave me. He didn't just forgive me, but reassured me I was still His. I am living proof that there is nothing that can separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. This Thanksgiving I am thankful five my Jesus.

I hope that your Thanksgiving is wonderful and that you feel blessed. But as you are stuffing your face and loosening your belt, just know...I am thankful five.

Then sings my soul

I like to cook. I don't mean, I just don't mind fixing hamburger helper on occasion. I mean I love to cook. I don't know what it is exactly or why it is such a passion, but if I could drop everything right now, I would go cook. I love reading recipes, learning new techniques and finding out why things go together like they do. My favorite part of cooking is improv. I love taking a recipe and doing something new or unexpected. I have several recipes that I love, but I never make them the same way twice. How boring would that be?

Even more than cooking, I have a passion for ministry. Well, that is...I did. Following my untimely demise as a minister, I lost that passion. For months I couldn't even hear God, let alone minister to anyone. Then I rode a roller coaster of faith and apostasy for several more months. It has only been the last 3 or 4 months that I have been really spiritually healthy and feel that God is reissuing the call of ministry on my life.

Eight weeks ago I began a spiritual gifts class at my church. I felt like I should because I wasn't sure what God wanted from me now that I was not in His perfect will for my life. To my amazement my gifting hadn't changed. I identified my predominant spiritual gift as teaching, with prophesy and exhortation subordinate. As the weeks have progressed I have found that everything we talk about brings me back to ministry. For the last two or three weeks now I have been consumed with the idea of wanting to have a ministry. Someone to teach and engage, someone to disciple in the faith.

I am excited through all of this, because I know that God doesn't place a calling without a mission. I am also excited because I am still in His plan and that feels great. It won't be tomorrow and it probably won't be this month, but I know that when His timing is right I will have a ministry again; and that is soon enough for me.

Be real

I notice a few things as I look at people's Facebook pages; to look cool in a photo you need to "throw the deuces" (hold up two fingers), and that some people are drama queens. With a little self reflection I think I may be a drama queen. Not that I necessarily induce the drama myself, but I sure seem to attract it well. I have joked for many years that people are either Chris people or they're not. It seems that people either like me and tolerate my idiosyncrasies or I rub them the wrong way and they have to bite their tongue to even be nice. I am a polarizing person and I am fine with that. I don't need to have everyone like me, nor should they. I mean, lets face it; when it comes to personalities I am not easy to palette.
One thing really bothers me though is the fake or impostor. I have people in my life, some friends and some family, that don't like me but want me to believe they do. I don't understand this at all. If you talk to me for more than five minutes you will know that I appreciate being cordial and genteel conduct. If someone were to outright say to me, "You and I don't mesh well."; I would most likely concur or want to investigate, but eventually let sleeping dogs lie. Honesty without passion isn't offensive. But instead there are people that are pleasant to my face and speak poorly of me when I am not around.
Matthew 5:37 says, "But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." I know that Jesus was speaking of making oaths, but I don't think this concept is out of line with the rest of Scripture. Just be real! Be real with me, be real with yourself. I am giving everyone the freedom to open up to me. Tell me if we don't jive and watch how I handle it, I think you will be pleasantly surprised. But for the sake of Christ who spoke these words, be real.
As for my dramatic disposition, I can only affect myself. So, I will not produce the same reaction that I once did and I will make each opportunity subject to Christ. It would be super if the drama could take a vacation though.