Perpendicular

There are so many great things in my life right now. I have my family living so close to me, I have a wonderful church and I am employed. God's blessings abound in my life and yet something is missing. I lack friends. Now I know you might jump to being offended, but when is the last time we talked on the phone or hung out? When did I come over to your house last? See, even though we are friendly and e-share ourselves, it isn't the same.

One of my problems with making friends is my personality. First off I am very abrasive. I am not everyone's cup of tea. Actually I am more like hemlock than tea. I am very opinionated and usually feel free to share that opinion. Secondly, I am not the most manly man. Truth be told I like doing girly stuff. I love shopping and I love to talk. Some of my closest friends in life have been women. Women really share themselves, where guys are hostile and distant. One of my friends who is a woman once said, "Chris you make a great girlfriend." Most guys would take offense to this, but not me. I am more than comfortable with my own sexuality, but also the sentiment is endearing. What she was saying is that I could relate to women.

My cross to bear is a physical or emotional attraction will eventually develop with a woman. I love this back and forth from "When Harry met Sally":

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.

There are women that I think are super cool and would make a great friend, but unfortunately both emotions and sex get in the way. It is sad to know that there are people I can't get close to, because I can't trust myself. But my success as a man of God is contingent on my virtue and righteousness. It would be great if I could find a guy who wanted to shop and talk, but then I might have a completely new problem. ;) Haha!