How big?

For an exact science, measurement has it's subjective side as well. For instance, terms like big and bigger are relative. Is being 7ft tall big? To a human yes, to a giraffe no. Guesstimation also is subjective and prone to error. I can guess the size of a room or stretch of highway, but don't ask me to guess how many people are in a room. I am terrible at sizing up a crowd. In my mind 75 looks like 200.

180. I know this number is accurate. I know how 180 feels. I will never mistake 180 again. 180 days ago I left my house, my wife and my family. 180 days ago my life changed for the worse. I have felt the pain of 180 days of loneliness, heartache, and searing pain. Six months of life change and emotional and spiritual pain can even seem subjective. From the outside looking in someone could say "Six months in the course of a lifetime isn't that long." But they would be wrong. One day living in this pain and self loathing is far too much, 180 days is torture.

After 180 days living east of Eden I know that not only is the grass not greener, but it is razor sharp and the ground hard and rocky. Happiness does not grow freely and its roots are shallow it dies quickly.